Yesterday afternoon during my driving lesson I was listening to the radio. This is not something I regularly do: ever since I started (legitimately) downloading music I’ve felt no need to tune in to what is normally not my taste, and often includes the same five songs on repeat. But it wasn’t my car, it wasn’t radio, and we didn’t have any CDs to play.
So there I was, listening to The Kyle and Jackie O Hour of Power on FM 92.9. I would have tuned out, but something made me stop and pay attention. No sooner had they finished exploring the rumour mill with Lady Gaga then Jackie declared she had a story to tell about Kyle!
Nothing controversial, she assured us (and Kyle). It’s just that he was seen leaving his bachelor pad with another man, and going off to buy Paddle Pops.
Wait, what? The point of the story is that he took a walk with a mate and they bought ice creams? Colour me confused!
She explained, though, that she didn’t think two grown men could do that! They might be seen as *gasp* gay!!! She promptly asked listeners to call in and tell them what other things two grown men “can’t do” together.
Some of the examples I remember are:
- Watch Eat, Pray, Love together.
- Sit directly next to each other at the cinema (you “need” a buffer seat apparently)
- Cuddle on the couch together
- Share a milkshake
- Rub sunscreen onto each other’s backs.
One caller actually proudly proclaimed that he was red as a lobster, because he would rather be burnt then suffer another man to put on his sunscreen.
Who care about skin cancer, what you really need to worry about is being mistaken for gay!
There are a couple of fails here:
First, and most important, WHY IS BEING GAY CONSIDERED BAD? As a queer woman, I am sick and unfucking tired of “alternative” sexualities being used as a slur. Seriously, sick of it. People are gay, get over it.
Secondly, why do we still have such prescriptive gender roles in the year twenty-unfucking-eleven? Yes, it was mentioned that women “can” do these things while men “can’t”.
So apparently men shouldn’t have the same taste in movies; shouldn’t use physical affection to show they care; shouldn’t halve the cost of expensive dessert drink; shouldn’t care about skin cancer; shouldn’t sit next to each other in the unfucking cinema!
You know what? Unfuck that.
- Pharaoh Signing Off